Chivalry? Never trust a man who speaks ill of his women

See what I mean?

It’s not your eyes playing tricks on you. I did say women-because every man has several women-he who denies it is a bloody liar and you know what they say about liars? You don’t? They are burned at the stake, sometimes in this life, other times in hell. At least I am honest about my women. I have several.

Like I was saying, every man has several women in his life, and never, ever trust a man who bad mouths his women. He is not man enough and if you believe him don’t be surprised if he plays out the same way later on with you starring in his new drama tale.

Favorite among  the women in our lives are our mothers -in -law, then our wives, our own mothers, sometimes our  sisters and for the lucky ones, daughters. You may raise your hand if you don’t agree with my sequencing. Of course there other women along the way, whatever the circumstances of your meeting, listen carefully to how he talks about those before you, it doesn’t matter whether it is his gold-digging  Ex he is talking about, you do not have to like everyone, but men don not gossip, especially not about their women. It is weak.

A lot of women can relate here; he told you he doesn’t love his woman anymore, she just doesn’t fill that love part in his heart anymore, in fact he will leave her for you. If he is telling you that, he won’t, or he may and will repeat the process. If a man were to leave his wife for you, he would not need to tell you about it no matter the circumstances and a lot likely he would have left her already by the time you have that conversation. Ignore this if you are a relationship counselor and your job is to listen to men rant about their women.

But that is just one kind of men, there is more, those who will tell you what their mothers did to them or worse their women (girlfriends and wives). Run as fast as you can because my dear, he will be rewriting that script soon, with your name in the starring role. I mean if you tell me about people who you care(d) for so much what would stop you from doing the same when we fall out!

Basic lessons in chivalry include defending her honor. A man’s woman must know  that he can protect her, that he’ll stand up for her and her interests- it means that he takes her side in arguments (even if he doesn’t always agree with her). It also means that he treats her with respect in public. Through a man’s words and actions he demonstrates to her, and to others, how he expects her to be treated.  You see, defending a lady’s honor is not done with bows and arrows anymore, not even with swords as knights were wont to do. It comes with the confidence that he will respect her privacy, her imperfections and if he were to talk about them, it would be to her-finding a way to get along-not at the Boys’ Club to strangers and drunks.

As a lady, and I use this word in a considered way, you should live with the confidence that when your man, pulls a seat for you, or watches you, it is to appreciate your curves-science proves that looking at women improves men’s longevity-and not to source for flaws in character and stitch to gossip about later. You deserve that confidence.

I do not in mean to say that men should take all kinds of bitchy behavior from their women, without complaining. No. I mean with independent women movements men are becoming endangered themselves. A man will seek a second opinion once in a while whether from his mother, his old man or fellow boys about his woman. But the way he does it classifies him. It should not, even accidentally, be considered gossip or ranting by anyone.

And I do not mean to say that men are above gossip. We are not. Men gossip, not just about sport and the economy as you are mostly led to believe, but a lot of times about women. But respectable men do it on generalities and they draw that fine line between general man-talk-about -women and talking about the imperfections of your women.

Some men (and women) argue that chivalrous behavior is no longer the norm, because it is not required. That the days when women expected men to open, hold and close doors for them are long gone. Many would rather do it themselves to demonstrate their “independence.”  True. Others (due to absent fathers and/or negative experiences) don’t know where to set their expectations; consequently, not setting any at all. They argue, men adhere to what is demanded of them, which is the reason some women are professional jump-offs while others keep getting wifed. But I am yet to find a real justification for bad-mouthing a woman, I put that way up on the list of don’ts with hitting a woman, however bitchy or mad any of you may be.


About njukimoments

Sharing experiences whenever they happen. Sit. Let me tell you a story.
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