It’s a warm Saturday afternoon, and I am seated on one of those benches at GC reading my novel. I am at chapter 14 where the novel is at its best. It’s a thriller, and the hero is about to get the bad guys. ‘Go get ’em’. A Voice in my head shouts every time he outsmarts them.
Then my sight is arrested by something. On closer look, it’s a vixen, eer sorry, girl, dressed like Niki Minaj, leading, by the hand, so much in love, I could say, a frail old man who at first I mistake for her grandpa who has come to visit Garden City. He is dressed in a luwande pair of trousers, those they make from Kiyembe and a very new shirt, and you know those ones which remain with many lines after you have unfurled them from the suitcase.
Momentarily, the bad guys in the novel are forgotten. How sweet! I wish my grandchildren also take me to Garden City when I am old. But, science also! This girl has a Mzungu grand daddy! Since I was never good in science class anyway, I let one of nature’s miracles pass me by.
Then, quickly, like lightening, even before I can see bulungi…the old man has kissed the Niki girl. I am not lying…really kissed! Hmmm. Then I wonder how young lithe vixens like to taunt old grayed-near-clean-balded-grand fathers. Poor old men!
World of advice: Watch your back,and pension, old man.
When I say watch your back, Ssebo,I don’t mean it figuratively. Far from it. I am being straight up. You see, in case you neglected to Google ‘girls who like really old men’ before you left home, I will give you the results here; they are well schooled in the art of getting you tired fast. Hence, the term lithe. You may therefore forget you are 80 going on 70 and slip a disk.
I even wonder why they don’t choose men their own age!(that is biff, if you insist).Preying on the weak, indeed.
This pleasure, old man, may not just eat into your old faithful Medicare insurance and pension also. It may also endanger your back, as mentioned above.
But I should also mention; we love you, for bringing in the elusive dollar to our country. Our economy loves dollars.
Just don’t be the retired mullah flying to Ug for vacation who takes a ship back home with a broken back to look for work. Cleaned out of health and pension.
old man during his younger days